Stop Being Afraid of the Trolls And Share Your Message

You breathe a giant sigh of relief… You just wrote a Facebook post detailing exactly how you feel about a topic that’s important to you. It feels so good to get it out… You take a deep breath, count to 10, then sigh and press delete. Yes, you had something to say, but at the end of the day, you just didn’t want to attract the online meanies (trolls) and deal with the horrible comments you are sure are coming…
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Sticks and Stones can Break My Bones… But Names Will Never Hurt Me.

The Internet is a blessing because it enables us to get to know people we otherwise would never have met. I have friends all over the world — who I’ve never met in person. The Internet is a curse because some people feel like they can say WHATEVER they want with zero consequence. It’s easy to shy away from free expression for fear of being trolled… Except… the trolls aren’t part of your ideal market anyway.

Here’s the thing… from the time we are children, we are encouraged to NOT speak out. “Children should be seen and not heard”, “If you can’t say anything nice…”

The fear of speaking out comes from an almost primal desire to “belong” to “survive”. If you are a “people pleaser” — speaking up is twice as heard. You don’t want to lose clients. Sharing your true message can kick up all kinds of fears. Fear of visibility, fear of success, fear of rejection–you name it. All are valid fears but each one will hold you back from the success you’re looking for.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of “being non-controversial” so you don’t “offend”. In fact, giving feedback to followers, pointing out shortfalls in your industry is helping your readers to see a different perspective. Speaking out about causes that are important to you is simply sharing something personal. And yet all these examples often cause stress and anxiety because coaches aren’t sure if they should be so bold.

If you don’t speak up … nobody can hear you.

At the end of the day, the most powerful marketing messages alienate people. But…that’s actually a good thing your tribe will recognize you as a potential teacher and coach — the people who aren’t for you will fall away. Your tribe will be stick around and learn more from you.

You aren’t the right person for most people.

You can’t be too much for your tribe. They need to hear your truth — they’ll stick with you to the end because you dared to be authentic.

Remember this mantra: “I’m not for everyone and neither are you”. You will never be too much for the right people. Your people are ready for your truth. Your people will follow you to the ends of the earth because of your authenticity.

And, of course, watching your client sort themselves out can be depressing. It’s not great to see your list shrinking or people unfollowing our unfriending you on social media. Instead of wallowing in the numbers, it’s good to remember the those people were pretty much dead weight on your list anyway. You want a vibrant, engaged list who will listen and buy from you. When you truly care about your message and the people it’s meant to serve, those people in turn begin to care about you — and your Know, Like, Trust factor increases.

If you’re truly driven to experience this level of self-expression and authenticity in your work, there’s no other way. You need to niche down and identify who your target audience is along with crafting your authentic message. When you feel bad about what you feel you’re “losing” in terms of followers and subscribers, try to focus back on what you’re gaining, which is a whole crew of people who understand you.
Visibility isn’t just about being seen by people — it’s about attracting and connecting with the right people and you can’t do that with a watered-down message. Speak up for the people who NEED to hear you — and know they’re not alone and someone can help them solve their problems.

Your Biggest Fear Can Lead To Your Biggest Opportunity

Have you ever considered that the thing you’re most afraid to share could lead to the biggest opportunity? Or at least something good? You may be surprised by the feedback you receive after sharing. So often coaches are afraid to share because they don’t want negative feedback but how about all the positive feedback you might receive? Some of your followers may have an ‘ah ha’ moment after reading your latest post or email. Maybe your post will go viral and attract a JV partner for an amazing opportunity. Or maybe your next group coaching program sells out in minutes, simply because you fine-tuned your message and attracted your tribe.

6 Tips to Fight The Trolls and Get Your True Message Out

1. Conquer Your Inner Critic. It’s easy to be your own worst enemy when you are trying to share something new. The key is be prepared and ready to counter your inner critic with positive thoughts. The more you do this — the easier it becomes to vanish the negative thoughts.
2. Baby Steps. Yes, you’ll feel scared and nervous at first. Treat yourself gently so that you can feel safe. Take baby steps to get your mind used to the process.
3. Create a Community of People Committed to Authentic Communication. You are the sum of the people you associate with. Finding other people who are committed to sharing their truths will make it easier for you to share your truth.
4. Start with ONE… You don’t have to go from barely posting to sharing your deepest darkest secrets online. Start small with ONE viewpoint or vulnerable story — see how your audience responds to your sharing.
5. Keep a brag book. When someone writes a testimonial or thanks you for your work — write it down. When you are feeling less than confident — take out the brag book to remind yourself why you are more than qualified to do what you do.
6. Remember to focus on serving your tribe. You can’t control other’s responses to you when you start to express yourself more authentically. Some people will unfollow and some will stay forever. Instead of trying to win everyone over — focus instead on the people who are paying attention.

Handling the Haters

If you are saying something worth saying — there will be people who disagree. The temptation here is to just ignore the haters and hope they go away. Sometimes the silence only adds fuel to their desire to get a rise out of you. In this case, just thank them for their option and then tactfully disagree and move on.

Being brave enough to share — even though there might be a backlash is the sign of a true thought leader.